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Flannery Dean: What are men doing wrong when it comes to women?Marni Kinrys: Oh, god: listening to other men and listening to male advice.Our relationship articles are geared toward individuals who have been dating the same person and are seeking advice on issues specific to long-term dating.Marni Kinrys has been schooling men on how to up their pick-up game for more than a decade using her Wing Girl Method, an online curriculum she developed after spending years helping men pick up women in bars in L. as a professional “Wing Girl.” Now, the Toronto native is shifting gears, offering her straightforward approach to women in her new book, That’s Not How Men Work. A.-based relationship guru tells why so many men are so bad at picking up women, why women let so many good guys pass them by and why the key to dating success might just be to chill the heck out.Just look at how easy dating would be if you followed their advice.

They have to know who they are, know what they want, ask for what they want and understand their values.

(possibly rewinding several times that scene where Mark Darcy tells her that he likes her “just as you are”), or out for some spicy tapas with great friends, or babysitting your nephew, doesn’t mean you can’t spend a little time reflecting on how you might step up your dating game. A little compassion can go a long way: Maia Szalavitz, co-author of , says that kindness is one of the top qualities sought by both men and women.

“Though it’s obvious that guys walking dogs or [playing with] babies attract women, men also seek evidence of nurturing,” she says. Break your routine to meet new people: Once you’re out of school—with its seemingly limitless supply of drunken encounters and early morning regret—it gets harder to meet people.

These articles cover dating from a pre-relationship perspective.

The principles can be applied for both novice and veteran daters, but those in relationships will prefer our relationship advice section below.

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