Breakup letter dating an alcoholic
Like one who lives in deceit, I stone myself and call for help Your wound grows and grows It slits my throat from vein to vein. There are hundreds of stories and resources for addicts.I put sand in you wound, I put in your wound a giant, and around myself I light the fire. It often seems it’s the families of addicts who are forgotten and who largely suffer in silence. So much in fact that I belittled myself by staying with one for seven years. Four years later, when I found out about my husband’s relapse, I thought about this friend and the courage it took him to say this and acknowledge . We go to great lengths to avoid the subject altogether.She felt she just couldn’t take another deep breath and hope that maybe this new time would be the charm.She asked her husband to move out and though she professed to him that she would always love him, this was no longer a relationship for her to be in.They had not been married long and though the love and connection were very evident between them, his relapse and true slavery to his addiction began to present insurmountable odds against an honest and respectful union.She and her husband Matt would stitch together a few good months as he professed to work a clean and sober program by attending 12 step recovery meetings, worked with a seasoned sponsor, and appreciated his job and the future it held.Relapse is an unfortunate situation and though it can be more common with one who is new in recovery, there are many individuals who relapse after years and years of living a clean and sober life.My client Rachel has had a roller coaster ride with her sometimes sober, sometimes not, husband.
After four and half pages of undeniable facts, I realized that there was no longer any question of whether or not I could stay with him. When you live with an addict, you are never quite certain about reality. By writing down the facts as they happened, he could not come back to me later with his own version of the truth.
And when he hears other people’s stories (e.g., they were homeless, living on the streets, broke, no job) he thinks he’s doing great in comparison!
Furthermore, since he mixes alcohol with cocaine, he is never one of those incorrigible drunks; he actually appears normal so he hasn’t really experienced any negative consequences. Everyone he knows — including family and friends — engages in this type of behavior on a regular basis so it’s normalized in the community.
In my case, there were months of lying about his sobriety when I just wasn’t sure whether he was drinking or not.
Had I begun the list sooner, instead of listening to the words I so wanted to believe, I would have saved myself at least a year of heartbreak.