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For now, the internet will have to resort to cooking up highly imaginative conspiracy theories that two of the funniest women in the country are actually "a thing." Shouldn't be a problem.

Here at mbg, we're big fans of Portlandia, the sketch comedy show starring Fred Armisen and Carrie Brownstein.

Because selfies are the worst, and because people can’t accurately describe themselves, and because it turns out algorithms aren’t the greatest at finding soulmates after all, two German women have come up with a brilliant idea to help Berlin and Hamburg singles find dates online: Visit them at their homes, take flattering photographs of them with a professional-grade camera, and write up fun and appealing self-summaries for them.

Put all that together and you get Im Gegenteil — German for “On the Contrary” — an online dating site that looks like it’s straight out of an episode of , complete with a twee-tastic logo that features a pink exclamation point dotted with a heart.

Punks, the Allergy Pride Princess (she’s allergic to air, water, and sun and transported in an ambulance), and eventually Linda Lawrence herself, whose allergy to dextrose takes a turn for the worse after she eats some candy thrown to her from a pink-haired girl on rollerskates.

Fred and Carrie bounce off each other so well in these commentator roles, like when Marc complains about the bikers making loud noises last night and Linda softly touches his arm and takes their conversation to a personal place: “How you doing?

‘s season premiere, but that didn’t stop me from returning for a second viewing on Friday night.

This show crams so many fads, tics, hobbies, and behaviors together into 22 minutes, and this time it was bad tattoos, allergy pride, artisan knots, fire pit fantasies, and addictions to The episode opens at the Portland Allergy Pride Parade, featuring Fred and Carrie as parade commentators Linda Lawrence and Marc Gemmer who introduce parade groups like The Krooked Kows and their “Tolerate Lactose Intolerance” banner, the Soi!

There's even a dog in the photo, which, if you're drunk enough, can lead you to believe that it's their dog, that they're actually living together and recently got married. Abbi later posted this picture of Carrie on this moody beach for her birthday, but somehow failed to type the caption: "We've been through a lot over the past 6-10 weeks, but I'm confident you are my soulmate and the internet is correct." A quick tour of both of their Instagrams reveals that they both seem to like each other, or at least each other's feed.

She tries to get past it but the Vedder tattoo even starts speaking to her, and soon she’s dating Vedder himself, who has a bad tattoo of his very own.

Tying with the tattoo sketch was Jeff Goldblum’s appearance as the salesman at Artisan Knots, a fancy knot store enjoying a jump in customers thanks to a writeup in the .

And by de-emphasizing random, unrelated facts about a person, like their height and weight, or their favorite band, Im Gegenteil makes it harder to write someone off for something silly.

Because there’s more to us than loving Queen, or only eat vegetarian., you know?

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