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So when I found myself, dating and considering marrying someone who wasn’t Punjabi, Sikh or Jatt, it wasn’t just a shock, it was an earthquake. It was more surprising that I didn’t feel the guilt – the guilt that we are fed into that “this is how proper Indian girls act” and “this is who proper Indian girls marry.” I was just at that point where it no longer mattered. I wanted someone who understood me at subterranean levels.I didn’t care if he had a different religion or that his ancestors spoke a different language.
Once I’ve slept with them I feel that everything I do from there on out is susceptible to judgement.
I would never have taken the first step had it not been for my mom. Growing up, it was an unspoken rule that I would marry a Punjabi, Sikh, Jatt boy.
We first met in college, equally messed up our personal lives until we stumbled back into each other in our late 20s with the realization that, hey, this person isn’t so bad.
They didn’t realize it was included until after the fact. Didn’t every meeting until marriage require exchanges of money as gifts? From that moment, I realized just how different our two families were, and how lots and lots of patience would be needed in order to not only understand the different traditions but also not to offend anyone.
I received 15-20 texts several hours later and realized they didn’t do the same thing. So we began our wedding planning journey, precariously, separating out the traditions.
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