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Often they move to quickly to get involved in a new relationship.
They may see the new relationship as more of a part of the grieving process than anything else.
Also, if the person was terminally ill and that illness took a long time to run it’s course, the widowed person may have done a lot of grieving prior to the actual occurrence of death and might be ready to date earlier than ‘the experts’ predict.
For me, it was 18 months before I considered dating again.
As a follow-up to our article, here are more thoughts on navigating the often tricky waters of dating someone who is beginning to date after grieving the untimely loss of their partner or spouse – from Members of our own Widow/Widowers community here on e Harmony Advice, in their own words.
As you’ll see from the passages below, everyone’s reaction to their circumstance, opinions and experiences are going to be different, so it’s important to keep in mind the specific needs of your match as you progress.
Keep in mind that it’s human nature to compare every relationship to a previous one, but that not every comparison is a bad one.
Some are ready to date again shortly after their partner dies. What’s perhaps most important is that the widow(er) is comfortable with the timeline and isn’t reentering the dating world because of the outside pressure to “get back out there.” Not Ready? For a widow(er) to be ready to enter a new relationship, he/she has to feel comfortable looking past their grief and focusing on loving a new individual.
The common advice for deciding when it appropriate to start dating a widow is to wait for their signals but with widowers you sometimes have to help them determine when is the right time.
Becoming involved with anyone too quickly after they lose a partner to death can be very detrimental to the relationship.
The dating world can be difficult to re-enter after losing a spouse. If the photos can’t come down, or the reminiscing is constant and weepy, more time is needed.
If you’re a widow(er), or you’re dating someone who has grieved the loss of a life partner, e Harmony users have some advice and wisdom to share on the subject of dating after loss. Most widow(er)s have a support system of friends and family.